Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
