my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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