Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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