its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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