Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I will be naked everywhere
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
