They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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