My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He keeps bees of course he's weird
is that a dick in a sweater?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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