Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
