i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
