Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
