We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
