Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
