So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
