Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
