youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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