High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
