Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
