I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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