I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
