What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
