Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
