I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
