3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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