...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
