6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
