doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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