he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
