I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I party with great urgency now.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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