Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
