I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
