So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
