we're blogging at a bar
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
