You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
