Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
