part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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