somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
