i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
