I wannas sexs uuuuu
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
