That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
