his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
