I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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