Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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