i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize