im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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