It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
