okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
