is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
