You're so nebulous sometimes
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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