Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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