i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
