If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
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