i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
