no, he came in my armpit
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
