Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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