Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
