Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
third nipple confirmed
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
