why didn't you poke me back
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
