dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
