lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
