i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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