Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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