4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
