We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
