when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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