Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
